Washed my face with tears almost every night..
Felt kinda stupid..
broke down and cried..
but hid in the toilet during lunch..
end up din really hav the appetite to hav my lunch
wasted almost half a pack of bee hoon..
it's just not my day..
didn't have mood to work either..
wanted to go home early..
but ended up going back after 30 min of OT

glad that my mum cooked dinner..
it's heart warming to eat home cooked food..
gals..Don't worry..
lemme cry a few more days..
maybe i will feel better..


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Ended my post @ 9:46:00 PM

She is scared of loneliness
she needs company
she needs an emotional support..
she thinks that she is selfish..
but she frets that she is breaking down..
she hears her heart shattering into pieces..
and feels her eyes filled with tears..
yet she is feeling miserable..
cos she can't concentrate at work,,
and cant COL @ work..

Wing is entering into another phase of recluse again...
=(


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Ended my post @ 7:35:00 PM

Yesterday's mood wasn't as clear as the blue sky in the east coast of Sg..
Drop a few tears while watching the seas..
and when listening to some songs on 933..
Felt kind of terrible..
Although the day out was okay..

Morning was rotting at home from 8-10am..
set off to office at 10..
went to help angie buy cigarettes..
asked her wan to eat breakfast or any drinks..
end up she is satisfied with eating ciga..
what an experience..
played with her son..the little devil..
children are so cute and adorable!
They always make my day..
although my ultimate aim was to do some report..
at least I managed to do one report..out of like 4..
nvm, there's always 2 weeks' later..
some how i prefer either staying at home or working on a wkend..
it's more peaceful..

Left office with ah fu at 1+ and met uncle and daph at clementi..
managed to coax them to take cab to ecp instead of train..
haha..
it was fast..within 20 min we are at the destination!
we could feel the heat lo!
although heard that north area was raining..
The east coast was so sunny!
had a drink at the food village..
then just nice..
wind came!!
Haven been cycling for long..(n exercising)
end up panting like siao when i first started the journey..
but after like 1/2 hour..
the momentum is back..and i haven had enough of biking lo!!
then they say gotta stop and look for my other colleagues..
well, at least we managed to explore the new track at ecp-changi that stretch..
the rustic feeling of the whole ambience was so relaxing..
although the journey was quite quiet..
din get to take pix..cos it totally slipped my mind..
along the way, there's a few stray dogs...
eh..kinda scared la..cos they kept barking..
but luckily they are frenly..
we cycled past then they just stared..
haha..
but if i am alone hor..doubt i dare to go thru that stretch..

rotted by the beach from 4++ till 6 then the rest of the office came..
boss reached as well..i almost address him with the wrong name =X
luckily i din shout it out..
arbor monday back in office = dead meat..
haha..

Nt sure why,
but ytd nite was totally cmi..
mind and physique = drained of energy..
Dun wish to think abt anything..
but seem to be difficult..
can i just focus on my work?
but i know if i do so..
i may end up a lonely soul floating in this world..
...


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Ended my post @ 12:17:00 PM

Did not get much rest today although I have slept like only 4.5 hours the night before..
Whole body aching and got a weird feeling..
Most prob due to lack of sleep..
But at least I have managed to get sth done..
that is finally got my running shoes!!!
Yay!
Er, not sure if I can get myself to go running..but most prob it's a -ve response..

Anyway, now wana look for a pair of walking shoes..
cos the one I bought in TW seemed to be small!!!
Sigh..
Hmm..I am yearning for a trip somewhere..
Sometimes just wanted to go on my own..
to take a break and leave some time for myself to think about things..
there is a serious need for me to straighten out my thoughts..
right now, I am standing in the middle of the cross junction..
and not knowing which way to go..
I know some things cannot be dragged on..
especially this have been an on-going issue since a year ago..
but I am feeling rather lost when it comes to handling such stuff..

Was joking with my colleague earlier that most prob I will get married to my work, office, career..
That's a rather sad thing..
especially for someone who yearns attention and care..
not sure what my future will be like..
but of cos I wan to be happy..

Back to some stuff that happened at work..
The news have been confirmed..
some ppl got promoted and nobody knows why..
Maybe I have a biased point of view..
but it didn't seem to me that she deserve that promotion..
someone else certainly deserves it more than her but why did she get it?
Don't understand..
It's really unfair!
Duno what will happen with all this change..
Doubt she will get transferred out like what my fren said..
Cos, it's not that she is indispensable..
it's just that there's nobody to take over all her load at the moment..
Weird things really do happen..


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Ended my post @ 8:48:00 PM

Just started growing a flower in office..
Dun think it will bloom since whatever things I grow won't bloom..
**********************************************************

Now arms aching..
learnt a new sport..
But I dun have the flare in sports..
Wonder if I do well..

Shall go watch tv first..
blog lata!


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Ended my post @ 12:34:00 AM

Hmm..some random thoughts while I was on the bus..

Under the current policy of public housing..
Owners are not supposed to sell their flat within 2 1/2 yrs for open market flat
and 5 years for subsidized flat bought from HDB..
Somehow I wonder if there's a further rationale to such a policy..
no doubt subsidized flats are at a cheaper rate..
but somehow you have to fulfill certain family criteria in order to purchase the flat..
so..that will directly link me to newly wed couples who start a family..
Okay..must be wondering where I am driving at..

Let's see..should this criteria also be used for any relationships..
For e.g. u got into a relationship..maybe u need about 2.5 years to know someone..(although I doubt it's enough)
if let's say after this 2.5 years..if everything is okay..
proceed on to say..5 years..
but if within this 2.5 years, if things are not going okay..try to sit down and sort things out..
instead of ending and hurting anybody in a short period..of cos this is a positive mind set that any problems can be solved..
but when it comes to handling humans..especially emotions..
nothing can be rational..
Correct me if I am wrong..
so it may not be solvable..

Well..then goes the next phase..
5 years..a long term investment? cos not..
does a longer term means more stable?
Not sure as well..
but referring back to houses..
probably what you paid for is at a lower rate, hence it's gonna last for a longer period..
lower risk perhaps..
if things are well within the 5 years, probably can start to consider about a longer term planning..
or even start a new phase of life..

hmm..
totally not making sense here..
it's how a tired mind works @ blog on a hot sunday afternoon..

Anyway..it's just crap for whoever is as bored as me..
Shall end off..


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Ended my post @ 3:37:00 PM

Took some off on Fri..2 whole mths without PH is really...ZzZ...tiring..
Esp I worked from 7.30 to 7pm the other day..ZzZ..

Walked around the whole town (practically) on Fri..
Grabbed a yummy Double Choc donut..
luckily, they rem to fill in the choc inside the donut..
unlike the one I had at Tiong Bahru >_<
Finally got what we wanted at Cathay..
Luckily my bro mentioned about it..
If not we would have totally skipped that shop..
We went to like all the shops and got only a rejection..
" Sorry..out of stock le..End of Mar den will hav stock"
I seriously wonder if they have kept all the stock in the storeroom or everything is at IT show..
So that they can all increase the price in Apr..
Talking about IT show..
It's hell..
We can't even get into Suntec Convention Ctr..
The crowd was like damn packed on the first level already..
I mean the entrance to Suntec City was completely blocked by the Q to IT fair..
A few dist away from Balaclava..
Omg..
Anyone remind me..
It's the economic downturn rite?
Yet the crowd to the fair is like worse than all other years..
I can't imagine in the event of a fire *touch wood*
All hell will break loose and a stampede may even happen at our very own Suntec City..

Anyway..
the interesting part is after we bought wat we wanted..
All eyes were at my bro..
cos he was carrying it back..
Try imagine carrying a big big box and bringing it to the MRT
Trying to get on the packed train..
Hmm..
O well..
I think all eyes were at the both of us that nite..
Cos I felt a giddy spell when we are approaching AMK..
Tot it was rather okay..
Tried to take in a few more deep breaths but apparently..
I lost that strength to even do so..
My lungs were like just jammed or sth..
While the train slowly moves in towards YCK..
I told my bro i should just get out of the station while he continues to carry the big box back to YS and we will meet there..
But b4 the train even pulled in at the station..
I was already like Jelly..
The whole world ard me turn pitch dark and I only hear some noises ard me but not knowing what happened..
I was already down at the floor of the carriage..
nice..
Fainted for the very first time in the MRT..
Luckily there were 2 nice aunties who helped me up and let me take a seat at the 'priority' seat..
I was feeling so damn terrible that my tears just flowed uncontrollably..
It's HORRID..
the feeling..
cos I totally did not know what's going on ard me..
Felt rather helpless too..
Anyway, the kind aunty helped me out of the train when we reached YS..
she even wanted to bring me home..but my bro already called my parents to come fetch us..
so we turned down her kind offer..
My bro was also in a state of shock that he tot he was dreaming when I fainted..
And he also felt giddy when I was on the floor..
took a seat at the platform..and I could feel my tears welling up in my eyes..
took a lift down to the station..and waited for my parents..
The moment I saw them..
duno why..
but my tears were flowing non stop!
OMG..
looked like an idiot at the station without knowing how many familiar faces have already walked past me..
Finally got more stable..and shook off that jelly legs..
and walked back home with my parents' help..
helpless is really the word..

And this continues to Sat..
I was so damn afraid that I will see pitch dark again..that I wanted to end the train journey by stopping at AMK to go to my aunt's place of cos with help from my walking stick..
Althou that walking stick is trying to do some stunt and I dun even know who is supporting who..
-_-
Anyway..Conked out at my aunt's place and the moment I reached home..
My jelly legs were like following me even when I stepped out of my house on Sat..
Felt so vulnerable that they can give way any moment..
then some ppl stil kip hitting and messing my head and hair..
Grr..

Anyway..I still made my way to go on with the celebration that day..
and end it off with a nice dinner at Carousel..
It was quite nice..
The desserts too..but I kind of still prefer AquaMarine's dessert..
With it's Haagen Daaz Ice cream and Fondune..
Yummilicious..
But end of the day..
I just rot at RP's hotel lobby..
Cos I felt the giddy spell again..
Haiz..
Anyway..shall end off here first..
Photos..hehe..no promises..but will try to upload soon..
Till then..


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Ended my post @ 11:17:00 AM

Okie...this is a bit the small..but it's sooooo Cute!! My pet pet is sleepinG!! =D

Hmm..that aside..
finally met up with qiu and lingy on Fri!
We did a lot of evil things..and had a lot of laughter (Evil ones)
And not forgetting the nice nice food!! Can't find my handphone file transfer cable..
find liao den i upload..
(I know i promised to upload many many times..but..too overloaded with work..)
Sat was the career fair..as usual..there's nth much other than tonnes of IR Stuff and Financial planner positions available..No NUS booth also..(Well there is ISD and Engin..)
Hmm..quite disappointing as usual..

Watched Marley and Me..
Duno why my tears like FOC one..
Flow non stop..
So paiseh..
end up eyes red and swollen..
And dry also..
cos all the tears well up..
but it's nice!
Marley is so cute!! (but notti..)
Today is slacking time..
with a lot of laundry undone and floor unswept..
But no mood for that..
cos my head is still spinning...
since ytd nite..
zZz...
End up missed my ECP this morning..
No rain..such a gd weather..but dun get to go there cycle..

I wana break!!!!
From everything..
I am soooooo TireD!


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Ended my post @ 11:32:00 AM

Yipee!
Finally having a time off this morn to sleep in after 9 days of consec work and nite meetings..
Super shag..that I can totally fell asleep on the train and can't have one of my eyes open..
Luckily I wasn't alone then..if not I duno how I am going to get out of the train that evening..

Bought yummy and nutricious breakfast at Macs..
Cut 2 bananas to go with my hotcakes..hehe..innovative idea..
cos dun really like to eat bananas by itself..very sweet and filling..
Think I dun have to eat lunch later on le..
it's 2 more hours to my work now..
Gotta be at HQ for some workshop at 2..
but luckily it's no nd to go back to office..

Went for a meeting ytd nite to give a presentation to some VIPs
Damn nervous cos it's my first time, and I have to present in both Eng and chi..
Luckily boss wasn't around to hear my eng version of the presentation cos it's practically reading off the slides..
And also I was so damn nervous that I wasn't looking and having eye contact with the chairperson of the mtg..
I was merely reading off my script as fast as I can so that I can get on with the whole meeting and leave the place..
Oh wells..so glad it's over..

Went to do house visits after the mtg..
but..nobody is there!
Pek Cek..
Trying to help these ppl yet call oso dun pick up
go their house also bo hiew me..
=(

Then some idiot tried to act smart that afternoon..
called me and was like trying to win the battle with her tone and her voice..
Darn..
She's a complete idiot..
Tell her so many times it's against the rulez..still dun get it..
Say dun wana find trouble but truth is..she is totally giving me trouble..
I dun have to deal with her..
cos I am not supposed to..
Yet she kept calling me and wanted to gimme emails to document the "conversation"..
C'mon..totally it's her who is talking..I din say much!
WTH..
Gek loh..
Talk to her make me almost cry..
Dumb idiotz..

Anyway..
now enjoying my drama..
always watch halfway can never finish the series lo..haha..(as usual)
Hope later got time do house work..den off I go for the meeting..
Still wondering if i should get a haircut..

Hmmz....
Till then..
Buaiz!


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Ended my post @ 11:05:00 AM

Now my hands and neck are aching..
This whole week was work after work..
7 days a week..
practically 24/7..
Instructor Mr Ong gave us a small training session for Tennis..
not bad..
finally managed to hit some balls over..*YeaH*
Ytd working..then went on site..
i was kind of stunned..
cos what I tot we see on TV appears rite in front of me..
*****************************************************

Went to TM this morning..
ZzzZ..
finally bought what I wanted..
thanks to py..haah..arbor i think i will buy a lot of nonsense..
hope i bought the rite thing this time round..
eh..wanted to blog on many things..but now i forgot..
shall go zzz..
till then!


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Ended my post @ 4:21:00 PM