I think I am such goner.. After sooooo long.. I tot everything is over and I could get on with my life.. Apparently I was totally wrong everytime.. I thought I have since moved on.. But maybe I have been living in escapism.. It's a total misery.. Like the song goes.. Maybe I am not really happy deep down in my heart.. What do I long for? It's definitely something which I want to know.. Cos as usual, I don't have the answer..
I know work is just a part of my life.. And after work I should get on with my other roles in life.. As a friend, as a daughter..etc; But sadly, work seems to be taking most of my time.. And after work each Day.. All my energy seemed to be sucked out of my empty shell.. This is not what I want.. Maybe I have a weak body.. Can't take in too much work.. Over do it, and I am burnt..
***
When I came to know that you are going to do something which you don't usually do in the past.. I got so affected.. Which I do not know why.. This is none of my business most prob.. Yet I still get so affected and my mood is totally spoilt.. I think I am so dumb.. I know that I should understand that circumstances are different now and you would have all the time in the world to do things that you don't even want to do in the past.. Yet, I think I feel my heart ache when I hear you say.. I am totally a dumb idiot.. I no longer share things with others.. Other than through my blog.. Cos the very mention of such issue will make myself seemed dumber..
***
Friends around me have been getting married one after another.. But I still feel like a kid.. Totally don't feel my age.. Not acting like my age.. Not sure how to handle things.. Maybe I am not alone here.. but well.. This is how I feel..
***
Just hope to be happy each day.. Maybe the work I am doing now don't permit me to do so.. I have to handle people's problem as if it were my own.. So many sad scenes in life.. I have seen and came across the cases.. Maybe it ain't easy to be a social worker.. especially when people don't heed your advice.. Here you are, trying to help.. But there they are.. Not able to understand why you are doing so, and everything becomes your fault when you don't have much of a choice.. Cos it's your job.. it's why you are in this office for.. It always sounds so strange.. To have a target to reduce these cases..
***
I wish to help..but my heart is losing its strength.. I wish to stop..but my heart don't seem to permit it.. It's a matter of how and what you choose.. I choose to be happy and throw the unhappy memories at the back of my mind.. but somehow things will resurface again.. ...
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Ended my post @ 12:31:00 PM
~*~Da LiL' D3viL~*~
QuiT3 Lam3 Can G3t oN ppL's NervEs Som3tim3s A SaGittAriUs bY SiGn AlMosT a PerFectiOniSt OpTimiSt bY nAtuR3 AlmoSt a WorkaHoLiC OveRall an AngeLic DeviL =p
~^~WisH UpoN a StAr~^~
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~x~HaTeS~x~
LiarS smOkers GamBlinG aDDiCts FakeRs BacKsTabbErs GettiN mIsUndErstooD AnyOne Hu SpoilS My Mood Argues/Quarrels
~(~FaVeS~)~
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